Use of the word "ho" banned until further notice

This just in:

Until further notice, use of the word "ho" in any form is forbidden in print or broadcast media without the prior approval of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. This means that stories of this weekend's death of singer Don Ho have to run without his last name as his name has not yet been approved by Sharpton and Jackson. Even Rush Limbaugh bleeped out his last name when talking about his death. Also, the names of many Asian-Americans contain the word "ho", such as Kim Ho, etc. These individuals are advised to change their names immediately so as to not offend anyone and to avoid lawsuits by the Revs Sharpton and Jackson.

This also effects Christmas as now Santa will have to say something like "Ha, Ha, Ha" or "He, He, He". Disney is having to edit "Snow White" to make the dwarfs sing something other than "hi, ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go". This is offensive to Sharpton and Jackson not only because of the word "ho" but also because there is the insinuation that the ho might be hi and might actually have a job. Oh the horror!

Lastly, it also effects gardening. The popular gardening tool will now have to be called something other than the "hoe". And construction workers can no longer use the term "backhoe" to describe a common tool of their trade because it might be misconstrued to sound like something else.

Jim Chitty